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The
Great Dead
Walrus Caper
It seems that walrus tusks are worth from $500 to $1500 dollars,
depending upon a complex series of criteria of which I am unfamiliar. As
we were driving out to the Point, the most northern piece of real estate
in the US, the woman from Illinois who was in the "way back"
seat happened to notice a floating hunk of something in the water. It
turned out to be a fully tusked dead walrus waiting for someone to come
along. We were the someone.
Bunna dumped the Illinois couple on his friend and we waited for his
family to come and cut the head off the walrus. This is what happened.
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The Walrus Hunters. |
Yes, Maria is really off shore this time. She was the first one to try
and get a close-up look at the body.
You may think she has a screw loose. That is simply one explanation
of impulsive behavior. If you know her, you know that when she wants
something, she goes for it and she wants a piece of walrus. She'll do
anything to get what she wants.
Perry should be so lucky.
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Maria decides to help harvest the walrus tusks. She thinks this will
get her a piece. She doesn't hear Bunna mutter under his breath something
like "Huh?" then the Eskimo* word for "fat
chance" when Marie asks for some.
Someone will be disappointed today and it won't be
Bunna.
*(Bunna says it is now OK to
use this word to describe his people.)
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Maria is undaunted because she is not in possession of all the facts.
She jumps aboard the ice block with her camera.
Notice her good form.
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She has arrived! The walrus appears unmoved by this intrusion into his
territory.
Oh, I forgot. The walrus is dead and doesn't know Marie
is there.
The rest of us are waiting for the ice to break and her
camera to get wet.
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Ray and his brother-in-law jump around on the
ice trying to figure out a way to capture the dead walrus. |
Ray has made a decision on how to get the walrus body to shore.
He has decided to use the same ice chunks to get to the
walrus. Bunna thinks it is foolhardy but than Bunna is older and wiser.
"What the heck does big brother know,
anyway?"
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Ray hops around the ice like some ice hopping
creature. |
He has arrived with a stick to pole the walrus
to shore. It is a little like watching a gondolier but Ray's gondola will
melt tomorrow. |
Ray got too hot from all the exercise and
decided to go for a swim. He would cool off quickly since the water
temperature was about 30 degrees. |
Sometimes the only way to get your walrus is to
drag him out of the water. Ray is either fearless or stupid, depending
upon what your view point is about swimming in your freezer.
I vote for fearless.
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Sure looks like the Beach Boys will work
here.
"Everybody's gone surfin'... surfin' USA."
Somehow I don't think walrus surfing has a big future. |
Brother-in-law gets inspired to try his luck on
the walrus longboard.
(I've surfed a 9'0" longboard before. Perhaps I'd
have more luck with a 9'6" walrus.) |
Ray heads for the comfort of the van after his
dip in the sea. I can't even imagine what he must feel like. I've had ice
cubes in my martini that were warmer than he is right now. |
Perry has been conscripted into walrus harvest
service. The guys need a strong back and weak mind and Perry was the only
one without a camera.
"Yo heave ho, yo ho, heave ho!" the walrus
hunters sing.
Perry can't sing. He just grunts and sweats.
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They have decided to drag the carcass to shore
by cutting a hole in the rear flipper and using a rope.
They get the thing up a foot or two and the flipper
splits. Now, the method will be to wind the rope around the foot.
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So far, so good. This thing is a little heavier
than we thought.
It is half way home. Of course, like most projects, the
last half is the most difficult. We need some heavy equipment.
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We've got it! We'll use the van!
The guys give directions and Bunna moves into position.
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Here we go. Let's drag this puppy onto the
shore. |
Bunna takes a closer look at the head and
decides where to make the first incision with the knife.
They are going to cut the walrus' head off.
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Never try to take the head off a walrus with a
dull knife. Bunna tries to sharpen Ray's knife on the bumper of the van.
The surgery takes about twenty minutes. It's a good
thing that there is a stiff wind blowing the smell away from the scene.
Dead walrus smells like, well, you can figure it out.
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Hey, nice set of tusks, baby! |
"Dead walrus in the middle of the road,
Dead walrus in the middle of the road." |
Yes, Nowell is on the scene! |
The head is off. The easiest way to carry a walrus head is by the
tusks. They don't come out easily.
This one will not be placed in the back of the van
because it is a smelly little guy. If we have to drive back to the hotel
with the windows open, NanNookie will freeze some valuable body part off
no matter how warm she looks.
It ain't a gonna happen. I like all her pink parts.
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The severed head. Notice the length of the tusks. If you figure that
they are valued by the inch, these are pretty nice tusks.
This is also the last photo of the yellow pants. They
didn't survive the trip, having been ripped during the harvest.
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Bunna's sister straps the walrus head to the 4
wheeler. Her husband gave his gloves for the cause. They put them on the
end of the walrus tusks to protect the ivory.
Walrus tusks are worth a lot
of money. Gloves are cheap.
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The Walrus is secure.
"Houston, we have walrus!"
Bunna's sister gives it the gas and away
they go.
Ray is in the van because he has no dry clothing.
Life is good on Point Barrow. A good tour was had by
all.
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